5.09.2012

The Art of Passionately Lightening Up

This month's Synchroblog topic is Lighten Up: The Art of Laughter, Joy, and Letting Go, and it hits home with me! I love that the Synchroblog coordinators chose the phrase "the art of" as part of their title, because I think that is exactly what is called for here: an artistic approach!

Humor and entertainment, or alcohol, or time with friends, or any of the other ways we each choose to "lighten up" can be healthy or can be a distraction from doing the things we each need to do and from facing the things we each need to face in order to have a satisfying life. "Healthy" ways of lightening up help us to more effectively see the big picture and to make the big and little choices we each need to make to pursue what we will each wish we had pursued when we get to the end of our lives. "Unhealthy" ways of lightening up cause us to forget (or never see to begin with) the way things really are and what we really want, and cause us to passively choose to neglect the things we could do to pursue the life we each really want. I will leave the negative side of that for a post that is supposed to be serious, and focus the rest of this post on how wonderful life can be if we lighten up without ignoring the things that matter!

When we fall newly in love, life is instantly brighter. The visions we had for our future and the ways we wanted to see ourselves are clearer and we have huge hope of them being realized fully. Then, as we move deeper into intimacy and make our commitments and consummate our relationship, we learn the art of lightening up in the clearest instance of any of our lives: we learn how to be lovers that don't pursue just our own orgasm, but pursue mutual orgasm. And there is no formula for that! It is an art of intensity where the goal is most easily achieved when we are fully present and fully alive but not obsessively focused on either lover's actual climax.

Life is like THAT. We are most full of joy and most fulfilled and most useful when we are focused outside of ourselves and not quite on those goals, and when we are fully present in the moment.

So there is no formula to living well! It is indeed an ART. But as we live it out, we learn how to be passionate, and how to lighten up. We learn how to know what is true and right and to live them out fully, and we DO lighten up as we do that, because we learn that it is not all about me and it is not all about my goals, and it is not even all about my experience of life.

Real joy is not something I pursue head-on, but is something that catches me unaware when I was practicing the art of living as best as I could.

Idolatry is something that calls me to focus on an end I am determined to achieve, through the means that I inwardly believe will get me to that end.

God is the One Who calls me to RIDE.

And I cannot lighten up, because I am too intense to do that. But God teases me and cajoles me into seeing reality as God sees it and as God wants me to see it, and then God surprises me with my own being's response to that reality!

Reality is GOOD, and I was made to climax regularly!

Leaving aside the metaphor of God as the Lover (which I first saw in scripture, with a whole book of the Bible dedicated to the metaphor, by the way!) and life as love-making, our faith is meant to be experienced in the reality of the moment, and not as a cocoon to protect us from real life.  God wants to give us each the tools to enjoy fully the experience of REALITY as we walk it out in each moment, and to train us to be adults who walk it out in intimate communication with the Triune God.  God's own presence to us and for us and through us is the sweetest and deepest experience of life, and -- for many of those who practice it for years -- becomes a much richer and more ecstatic experience than anything merely sexual could ever be.  The metaphor breaks down as inadequate, not as profane nor as exaggeration!

So -- if you will relax into the passionate pursuit of the things that really matter, on the track of the real world you live in, with the Triune God as your perfect coach -- you WILL lighten up, and you will speed up, and you will slow down, and you will experience fully the life YOU were made to experience!

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Here’s the link list for this month’s synchroblog.  Have fun reading through the list!

3.01.2012

The State of the State (of the Kingdom of Me)

Those who walked with me at St. Andrew's Presbyterian Church will get "the Kingdom of Me" reference without explanation, but for everyone else, I better explain: Dallas Willard in The Divine Conspiracy talks about the Kingdom of God and the smaller kingdoms we all live within, and so we each have our own little world that is our own life and our own perception of reality, and that, for each of us, is "the Kingdom of Me". Today is a great day to reflect on that for me!

In 12-step groups like AA or Alanon or any of the many other iterations, during open share time, each person sits and listens to each who chooses to share, and "no crosstalk" means that no one is supposed to comment on another's share, but simply share their own story of the week or of life. In social media and in blogging, we have lots of "crosstalk" in our comments and in our posts responding to each other, but we also have a lot of time speaking our own piece and enjoying the love that others show as they "listen" by taking the time to read a post. I have come to realize the huge love that is given me by anyone who takes the time to read one of my posts with real attention, even if it seems that I wouldn't have any way of knowing they did so. We are all so interconnected, and the love that flows from those who give me that consideration is what creates anything good going forward. I am bound to you!

So, after those rambling disclaimers/explanations, here goes this "share":

I am now old enough to know that life is a mystery, and I can't dissect it and examine it and compile my notes and write them up and file them away and control life by knowing. I am old enough to have had a little of my innate narcissism kicked out of me, and old enough to realize that I don't have to be ashamed of my narcissism because it is human and natural. I am old enough to understand what makes life sweet is relationships, and that one of those relationships is between me and me, and that I can forgive myself and love myself and nurture myself with the same grace and kindness that I want to have toward anyone else I love. And I am old enough to have lived, and to be grateful for that life, and to be ready to die even while I am ready to live until 106. I'm also old enough to know that music and fiction and art express reality better than words do!

For the last week I have been hearing words from all of the different songs on the old U2 Album All That You Can't Leave Behind playing over and over in my head, and I realize it is because I am finally old enough to not just like that album but to live that album. It is the track to this part of this journey. I am grateful! So if you are curious, pull it out and listen to it, and you will learn more about this day in my life than I can write in a blog post!

I am grateful for my companions on my journey, and while this blog has been all about church and all about my life here and now, it is many early childhood friends and friends from young adulthood that come to mind now as having MADE me. I am so grateful for each! My family and extended family, of course, and Steve Sullivan and his family and friends, and Don . . . but the ones that jump out at me today in my memory and gratitude are:

The Sarbins (Adam, Sara, Debby)
Alan Maline
Joe Loftschulz
Chris Blake
Michell Martin
Mike Martin
Jean Watt
Stephanie Harlan
Jenny Harned
Nancy Jessen
Brian Borchers
Scott Turnbull
Dave Larson
Irma Jimenez
Wanda Dayvault
Kevin and Keith
Brett Westbrook

and the mental list goes on and on . . .

Many painful memories are just as significant as loving friendships! It's important to WANT to be friends with the people you are attracted to and rejected by, and important to learn to be friends with the people that love you in real ways, and important to learn to forgive ourselves and others for the realities in life that weren't what we wanted them to be. All these lessons have been the lessons I most needed!

So the "State of the State" (of the Kingdom of Me) today is GRATEFUL! Grateful for Omaha, and Burke High School, and Wheaton College. Grateful for my family -- expecially my nuclear family and amazing uncles and aunts and cousins who have given me a rich loving world that I took for granted until I moved so far away. Grateful for God's Grace, which I no longer need to understand to bathe in!

But most of all, the "State of the State" (of the Kingdom of Me) is amazed at what is in my cup and what is pouring out of this tiny little cup that is my own tiny little world. I am grateful that the Kingdom of God is available fully, right here and right now, and see that the Kingdom of God is coming . . .

Even when I am dead and in the ground, the Kingdom of God will be at work to bring beauty out of darkness and despair, whether my burial day is in less than a week or in 60 years from today. Life is good, and today I am alive and aware and grateful for eyes to see!

I AM just a blip on the computer screen, but while I'm here, I get to see each of YOU . . . and THAT is beauty and joy!

12.28.2011

December Synchroblog: Following the Baby We Just Celebrated

This month's synchroblog topic is explained here:  http://synchroblog.wordpress.com/2011/12/

So Jesus came . . . Did you get what you expected? How has following Jesus led you into strange places and turned your life upside down? Or has it?

I don't have anything new to say on this that I haven't shared with many groups in person, but it bears repeating the story at least once on this blog.

I was born to conservative Christian parents who grew up themselves in Christian families. My dad grew up in a United Presbyterian church in the Twin Cities (Macalester), attended Macalester College (a Presbyterian-affiliated school), and was ordained as a deacon and then an elder early in his adult life.  My mom grew up in a rural Evangelical Covenant church, attended North Park College (a Evangelical Covenant school), and joined Macalaster when she married Dad, also becoming a deacon and then elder in young adulthood.  As they moved, they attended other churches, and ended up spending most of mid-life at the church that was my home church:  Church of the Cross (PCUSA) in Omaha, Nebraska, where they were both active in lay leadership.  They were (and are) very loving and ethical people, have rich prayer lives, a very deep knowledge and understanding of Scripture, and have always had a heart for those in need as well, donating time and money generously.

I grew up believing -- like most kids do -- that my experience was normal, and that my parents' reality WAS reality.  I was very committed to following the Jesus that I'd been led to pray to nightly when I was first able to talk, and wanted to be a missionary (since full-time ministry stateside wasn't within our world-view in terms of my gender.)  I grew up conservative politically and ethically, and was definitely a "good girl' as well as a committed Christian through my teens.  I "followed Jesus" to Wheaton College, and had a rich experience there exploring community with my missions-minded friends as well as learning all I could learn.

I would bore most of you to tears if I gave you a blow-by-blow of the next 20 years, but the short story is that real life with real people led me to rework my theology and world-view in many places.  I abandoned conservative gender roles (the idea of playing the "right" role for my gender in exchange for being protected in ways that men were not) only after trying that path over and over.  I abandoned the idea that capitalism and conservative politics were synonymous with my faith only after trying very hard to reconcile them in the places I found dissonance.  I moved from conservative evangelical toward progressive contemplative with great difficulty socially, because I always assumed that the people around me could see the same holes in our theology and practice that became clear to me, and so I had to suffer a lot of very deliberate active rejection (certainly not by all conservative friends and family, though) before I could let go of the idea that others were also looking for better ways to live the way Jesus taught us to live.

The truth is that most Christians are sincere about following Jesus, but also sincere in believing that those in leadership and teaching positions know and are teaching them the things that will really result in the lives -- individually and in community -- that Jesus was and is calling us to live.  They persist in trusting that leadership and the status quo of the current church culture because they equate unquestioning submission with obedience to Jesus.  This isn't new, of course -- for we are often taught about how the religious people of Jesus day tried to follow the scribes and pharisees in the same way and for the same purpose.  Most adults -- even to death in their 90s -- never question the justice or rightness of what they have been taught since they were little by people they respected and still respect.  That is the reality of community and faith.  (Indeed, if those in leadership themselves question the status quo, they often find themselves no longer in leadership!)

I began my life thinking that following Jesus would make me like my parents, whom I still respect deeply, and would help me resist the parts of me that don't fit the ethic and culture of the conservative churches and families that surrounded me.  Following Jesus would heal me of the "sin" that made it hard to fit the status quo or fulfill my ethical obligations under it. (Following Jesus is healing me of the sin that is actually rebellion against God in my selfishness and fear, as He teaches me His law of love.)

I never stopped following Jesus, even through really brutal times of paying the consequences for not being like my parents, for not fitting the ethic and culture that I thought was based on a good interpretation of Scripture, and for not fulfilling my ethical obligations under all that (meaning the gender- and conservative-culture-specific mores, not the universal truths that most cultures have recognized).  Following Jesus led me to great grief and loss -- especially the loss of my self-image as a "true believer".

These days I know that Jesus loves me enough to want me to know what is true and to want me to live transparently with Him and my community of faith.  He's not afraid of conflict or anger or rejection, and has been teaching me that I don't need to be, either.  He has been teaching me to sort out the voices of family and friends and self, and to live with my focus on the wisdom in the community of faith that He shows me is more closely aligned with His intent and His words and the REALITY that He created and is creating.

The bottom line?:  I followed Jesus because of my deep needs for community and acceptance and affirmation, and found that obedience made me an outcast . . . but that that was the deeper fulfillment of those deep needs.  (I did find community with other followers, of course . . . but only after letting go of the narrower communities that I pursued acceptance from.)

AND there will be a new bottom line as life moves forward, of course.  Because I'm not done, and neither is He.

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Here’s the list of links for this month’s synchroblog. 
Glenn Hager – Underwear For Christmas
Jeremy Myers – The Unexpected Gift From Jesus
Tammy Carter - Unstuck
Jeff Goins - The Day After Christmas: A Lament
Wendy McCaig – Unwanted Gifts: You Can Run But You Can Not Hide
Christine Sine – The Wait Is Over – What Did I Get?
Maria Kettleson Anderson – Following The Baby We Just Celebrated
Leah – Still Waiting For Redemption
Kathy Escobar – Pain Relief Not Pain Removal

10.11.2011

Down

This month's sychroblog topic is Down We Go, and is not a book review of Kathy Escobar's book of the same name, but is about our experience of following after Jesus into the crowd who listened to Him introduce the sermon on the mount with the beatitudes, and thus about our experience of breaking with a life of upward mobility.

I do want to recommend Kathy's book!  She does a beautiful job of articulating a wonderful view of faith, church, and ministry!  If you are a regular reader here, you are likely to love her book and her blog.

My perspective is similar to hers, and probably similar to others who will post this month, but I have been led by life to a place that has some twists in the views I held even a year ago, let alone 3 or 5 or 10 years ago. 

I still believe in community and in the bigger community of the CHURCH in the world, and still support my denomination in its polity and local congregations, but I no longer see any of that as being at the center of the action.  Nor do I see wonderful communities like Kathy's, nor our larger communities like Emergent Village, nor our conferences or unconferences or virtual communities as central to what God is doing.

I support my women friends in ministry, and I support the wonderful women theologians and authors and speakers that have finally started to approach real leadership.  I support other groups who have been marginalized as they finally start to get tiny bits of justice and real leadership roles as well.  So I need to qualify everything I write next by saying that it should be practiced first by the WHITE STRAIGHT MEN and isn't intended to be a call to those from marginalized groups to give up newly acquired leadership roles and power.  We each need to hear and follow real wisdom that applies not only to our own situation but to our impact on the larger systems!

But this is the thing:  being able to read and write publicly is a mark of power.  Having a computer and smartphone is a mark of power and privilege.  Being able to use twitter and facebook and attend evangelical and emergent and progressive and denominational conferences is a mark of power and privilege.  Being able to connect to those who organize a synchroblog and interact with other bloggers on a topic each month is a mark of extra time and energy and the ability to connect with that community . . . thus a mark of power and privilege.

Pursuing power and assuming power has its place (when it is done out of a life of prayer and submission in response to the call of God and others), but our ideas of church and ministry are more about career goals and a pursuit of the American Dream than they are about real service.  God and the church and society need most of us to go get jobs where we are not paid for the books we write or the church role we fill or the speaking opportunities we can get, or even for the community of faith we can build from scratch.  We need more people to actually live out a life of service and love in the midst of the daily reality most of America experiences . . . while holding down a job and getting the kids to school in the morning and to bed at night . . . and fewer people to start new churches or try to re energize the old ones.

There are many people looking for a savior, and they aren't going to find the REAL SAVIOR in any of our local expressions of ministry.  That isn't to say that Kathy's church isn't as amazing as she feels it to be, or that I was not ministered to by St. Andrew's in my need, or that St. Mark isn't an amazing community of faith-with-feet.  I wouldn't have just joined St. Mark again last weekend if I wasn't convinced that congregational life still has an indispensable role in discipleship and worship.  But salvation isn't centered there!  Individual, relational, and corporate healing and restoration and worship is not primarily led by those who make their living at it.  God's primary means of grace in sharing the real gospel and infusing it into the lives of real people is through the lives and words and love of those who center their life around the gospel without assuming the role of minister or leader.

I love my friends who have been educated as pastors and preachers and scholars/professors/writers/teachers of theology and ministry and biblical studies, but I have watched the "job market" for them and the church and institutional politics in which they live.  I have watched the competition and the stars and the losers in the game.  And I have watched the economics of it all.

I love my friends who are laypeople and who love our congregations and seminaries and colleges, and support them financially and by many hours of volunteer time.  Many of them have education and giftings on a par with those who earn their living through the church and the schools, but have done what they needed to do economically to be the support to a whole industry of faithful ministry to our generation.  I see their hearts, and know God's love for them!

But to both I have the same message:

Let the church fail.  Let the seminaries close.  Let the denominations die.  Let the old shell of God's power pass into antiquity.

We are called to all the old ideals.  I still love the Book of Order and Book of Confessions of my denomination, and still am passionate about that vision of the CHURCH.  But that's not my primary calling, nor is your primary calling to your ordination or to your vision of the church or of ministry.

Our calling IS down.  We are called out of a pursuit of "the kingdom of heaven" the ways we thought we saw it or knew it, and called IN to a pursuit of loving action in the reality of our lives today.  That means we get to translate a real faith to footsteps and words and hugs in our real homes and real workplaces, and on the streetcorner of the part of town that scares us, and with that guy sitting on the sidewalk by the Del Taco you go to each week.

Kathy has great points to make in her book about inclusion of those on the margins, and that has been a big theme in my life too . . . but we don't have to go to her church to experience that, and it isn't primarily in church that we MUST experience it.  We are called to be people who make friends and who SEE people . . . the invisible people. 

We should be engaging the people waiting for the bus as we jog by.  We should be people who consider the mood we perceive tonight from the checkout clerk at Stater Brothers, and be able to compare it to her mood three days ago.  We should be in prayer for the coworker that everyone hates and wishes would quit.  But none of this should flow from that word I used in each of these sentences . . . that "should" word.  All of this should flow from real transformation, real power.

Following Jesus in an incarnational demonstration of real spiritual power will usually come to us when we are filling the same kinds of roles in society that nonchristians fill.  Following Jesus in a mystical experience of the Triune God will usually come to us when we fit our time of prayer and study into the same daily routines and pressures that our non-religious neighbors live daily.  And following Jesus in fulfilling the great commission will usually be at its most powerful and effective point in our lives when we have learned to live what He taught us to do instead of writing about it, speaking about it, or marketing it effectively.

Anyone else down with me on this?

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The other posts in this month's synchroblog are here:

  • Alan Knox – How Low Can You Go

  • Jeremy Myers – Seeking The Next Demotion

  • Glenn Hager – Pretty People

  • David Derbershire – Reaching The Inner City

  • Tammy Carter – Flight Plan

  • Leah Randall – Jacked Up

  • Leah Randall (her other voice) – How Low Can We Go

  • Liz Dyer – Beautiful Mess

  • Maria Kettleson Anderson – Down

  • Christine Sine – There Is No Failure In The Kingdom of God

  • Leah Sophia – Down We Go

  • Hugh Hollowell – Downward

  • Kathy Escobar – We May Look Like Losers – Redux

  • Anthony Ehrhardt – Slumming It For Jesus

  • Sonja Andrews – Diversion and Distraction

  • Marta Layton – Down The Up Staircase

  • 8.09.2011

    Fiction, movies, and TV

    This month's synchroblog is at summertime-summertime-sum-sum-summertime and this is my contribution. I took time over the past month to consider what books or TV programs or new movies I wanted to spotlight, and decided that we all do that on Twitter and FaceBook regularly, and that that wasn't my best contribution to this discussion anyway.  I decided to post briefly about the importance of PLAY and ENTERTAINMENT in God's work in shaping us and using us, and to suggest that you seek out new joy in new places!

    As I have watched my own boys and the children of others over the past 26 years, I have given up the old idea that the best thing I could do for my boys was to teach them to be disciplined and responsible.  I do want them (and me) to grow up to be disciplined and responsible, but I want them to be equipped to use those skills to pursue things that really matter in the long run.  The best thing I can teach  my children (and myself) is to have fresh eyes to see reality daily and fresh ears to hear God and Others and Myself each day and to know which is which!

    I do not know of any medium that opens eyes and ears like STORY does, and I'm so grateful that Jesus reaffirmed that by His example in how He taught and in how He lived.  In my boys' lives I practice this regularly by reading to them almost every night (the little boys now, but the young adults too when they were this age) and by modeling a life that weaves STORY into every day.  In my life this looks like piles of books that have been read and re-read, snatches of reading time that sometimes result in burnt food (oops!), trips to see movies, weekly TV shows that I schedule time to watch (recorded TV shows, usually) and no complaints from me about those time choices from others.

    Like music, STORY has the ability to go right by my analytic, unfeeling brain and lodge in my gut, and change my view of my own world and my own role in it.  As much as good analysis and good planning and good discipline are indispensable tools for dealing with reality once I've felt it and embraced it, they can't be my eyes or ears for REALITY itself, and they can take me a long way in the wrong direction if my map is wrong!  My own story is so limited and my own experience so short lived that, without STORY, I am doomed to a wasted life focused on my own perceptions and achieving my own agenda.  There is more!

    Let me tell you a story:

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    There once was a beautiful young woman who went to college and did everything right.  She dated in appropriate ways.  She chose a good career and got a good education and a good job.  She fell in love and got married.  She had 2 beautiful daughters that she and her husband raised to be fine young women who had lives like their mother.  She added good things to the world in her line of work, and had friends, and had all the markers of a happy and healthy life.

    Then one day someone changed the rules for what "doing everything right" was. People who hadn't done what was right were suddenly turning everything upside down in her world, and were labeling her as THE PROBLEM with their lives, and she was going to lose everything.  She felt guilty and depressed, and took time to meet with some of those individuals and to form a new ministry, and to try to effect change in them and change in her own self and world to come to some sort of new stability. She was more or less successful in that effort, and once again had all the markers of a happy and healthy life.

    Then the end came, and she got to find out what DOES happen when we die, first hand.  She found out that it wasn't about following all the rules and looking happy and healthy.  It was about having become someone who could authentically participate in the DANCE of LIFE, and could DANCE with the others swirling in that DANCE.  And the ONE in the center welcomed her to the dance, but said how sad it was that she had wasted all the years of dance school which that ONE had given her.  Still, she was free to participate with as much joy as she could find in the whirling dance that surrounded her, and should know that she did not need to be afraid.

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    Those who know me know I am not the woman in the story above!  But it is a story from my heart for all the Good Christian Girls I know out there, and tells my version of what I wish they could see and feel and live!

    We have been given movies and TV series and books and each other to be able to see outside our own selves and our own hearts and our own subcultures, and to be able to enter in to the eternal dance . . . not just later, but right now.

    Right here, right now I can plan my daily doses of STORY and let my world be contiguous with all the other worlds around me.

    Right here, right now I can listen to your story and then tell it again for another, and let our lives fold together in the great dance of friendship and wonder.

    Right here, right now I can let my work hours and exercise and financial planning and prayer time be opened up in new ways and pointed to new places as God uses STORY (even or especially ones that push me off-balance) to teach me what really IS and what really matters.

    And right here, right now YOU can set aside the sermon you were writing or the funds you were managing or the classwork you were grading just long enough to get a fresh shot of JOY and MOTIVATION and PERSPECTIVE.  Pick up a novel you like, and if it gets boring, pick up a different one.  See a movie you like.  Find a new HBO or SHOWTIME series to follow.

    Then you can get back to work and prayer and relationships and "real life" . . . but it will all be different.  You will be more of what God put you here to be, and you will do more of what God put you here to do.  With purpose and joy.

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    Please check out these other August posts by fellow synchrobloggers:

    7.06.2011

    Listening to the Wild Goose

    I have not had the time I'd like to put into this post, but decided to write it quickly and publish it anyway, because I do love the discussion I am seeing in this month's synchroblog. So here is my little reflection on The Wild Goose / The Holy Spirit:

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    While I was driving from Yorba Linda to Crosslake, Minnesota last week I was sad that I would miss all the friends gathered at The Wild Goose Festival and at Big Tent as my sister and mother and I rushed to get ready for a party we had on July 2 for Josh and Julie, even though I knew I had made the right choice to be here instead of there.  My family has had an exciting 6 weeks, with my son Josh getting married to Julie on May 28 in rural Illinois and with my son Mike getting married to Luisa on June 18 near California's central coast; and this season of life is one that I am soaking up.   Still, I miss my friends and the opportunity to participate in all the ways they were listening together to God this week!

    I read an article this week about congregations and sermons, and how the things that we are passionate about show up in our responses.  The writer was bemoaning the lack of passion for sermons among most laity, compared to their response to their favorite teams or band or hobbies.  And I realized that THAT is what I have in common with my friends:  we are passionate about the right sermon, the right book, but especially about seeing ourselves and each other live contagious lives full of grace and mercy in joyful adoration of the GOD who inspires our passion.  And as much as I love my family and enjoy time with them, I am SO grateful for all the circles of friends that shape my passion for God and for a life lived as God intended abundant life to be lived.  In so many ways, all of those friends are "home" now even more than are any of my "real" homes.

    I experienced a bit of dismay this week from some of the people I love about my love of people they don't think I should love.  They don't understand how I could be passionate about people with whom they wouldn't leave their kids for an hour (because they don't know my friends, because they disapprove of how my friends look, because they disapprove of choices my friends make about career and marriage and politics, or just because - like me - my friends like to live too publicly in the eye of social media and to share too much too often) and they don't understand how I can align myself with their brand of Christianity.  I tried to explain, but it not only fell on deaf ears, but stirred conflict that is not really useful conflict. ("Useful conflict" moves one or both of us closer to God's purposes in our relationship or in our understandings and characters; this did neither as far as I can discern.)  I should have just listened!

    As I listen to those outside my areas of passion and participation, I hear their values and their passions and their fears.  I see what God has been up to in their lives.  And I get a chance to be shaped by their experiences and conclusions and to be used by God in even more powerful ways that my words or actions can accomplish.  Seeing the beauty that God is weaving in the life of another human lets me WITNESS to that beauty and to God's process . . . and it is that kind of WITNESS that I am most often called to be!

    I have been learning not to deny my own passion, but to have authentic respect for the fears, values and passions that drive others.  I used to think that real respect meant that I needed to adopt or affirm the fears, values, and passions of another.  I used to think that not denying my own passion meant getting others to share it, or at least justifying it with all others.  Now I know neither is true!  Embracing and protecting my own passions flows from the same respect, love, and peace that empowers genuine respect of others and their "stuff".  The Wild Goose is powerfully at work in me and in them!

    A friend once told me that he was finding that getting older was bringing a greater tolerance for mystery, and as I get older I think that perhaps that is just a greater tolerance for listening and accepting the realities of life without needing to fit everything and everyone into a nice neat analytical spot.  I think it is a mystery how chasing the Wild Goose becomes being inhabited by the Wild Goose.  I think it is a mystery how learning to listen and contemplate reality becomes a life of passion and action and salt-filled words when needed.  But maybe the greatest mystery is how a burning desire for a particular vision can become an abiding joy even in the "now but not yet" of it all!

    My grandmother used to sing the words "trust and obey . . . for there's no other way . . . to be happy in Jesus . . . but to trust and obey" and even as I type them I think about the way we all must go through such a process to learn what trust means and to learn how to hear the commands we obey from Jesus filtered through so many places and people and Bible-teaching and filtered out of so many places and people and Bible-teaching.  We make our choices about what rings true, and try it out, and refine or reframe our understanding, then try them out . . . and over time we learn to authentically hear the Wild Goose.  But anyone who tells you that you can do that without first struggling (and last struggling too) has never really learned to recognize the voice of that ONE who calls.

    We are each different, and we are each the same.  God speaks to us each differently, yet to us all with the same vision as to the whole drama being directed from above.  I am called to play my part, and to watch with joy as each other player does the same.  I am to listen to the right director, and listen and watch my fellow actors with joy and respect.

    Learning to listen to the Wild Goose (learning to trust and obey) is not a skill that can be taught and practiced and mastered.  Oh, there are techniques that you can learn, of course . . . but life-making that is focused on proper technique and practiced skill can't hold a candle to life-making that is burning with real awe at the beauty of the Beloved and the amazement at being in the presence of the Beloved.  Learning to listen to the Wild Goose comes from running away when you must and chasing when you must and being the "respectable man" when you must and being the "failure" when you must.  Learning to listen to the Wild Goose comes from paying attention to all that God uses to instruct you about God and life and your call and your day today . . . and learning and failing and learning and failing. We are not called to triumphantly bring about heaven on earth.  We are called to recognize heaven on earth in the mustard seed, and worship in amazement as it grows to a Kingdom.

    I get just a few more days to live at my parent's house in the beauty of remote nature, and then I begin my trek with Noah and Brooks to our home in SoCal.  I saw a wild heron spring up from the shore near my brother's cabin on Monday as we celebrated the 4th together there, and I rejoiced in the power of those wings and the unexpected intrusion in our space.

    I am learning how to recognize beauty and power in the intrusion of all those things that don't fit my view of a safe, comfortable, livable world . . . the things that stir negative emotion before my heart can settle back into a rhythm of peace and joy and purposeful action or inaction. 

    I am learning how to let the Wild Goose teach me to live in the real world, even as I learn that I can't master an understanding of it all. 

    I am learning how to worship the real triune God with all my life, even as I come to terms with never really understanding even a corner of that majesty or wisdom or danger. 

    I am learning to listen to the Wild Goose!

    ********************************************************
    Syncroblog posts on the Wild Goose:

  • Anna Snoeyenbos – Wild Goose Festival – A Spirit of Life Revival

  • Lee Smith - Goose Bumps: Opportunities Everywhere for Offense. A Fair and Objective Review

  • Ryan Hines – 30 Years Later – “Controversy” at Wild Goose

  • Karyn Wiseman – Flying With the Goose

  • Kyla Cofer – I went to the Wild Goose Fest and came back in love

  • Brian Gerald Murphy – Born Again (Again) at Wild Goose

  • Chris Lenshyn – Chasing the Wild Goose

  • Cherie at Renaissance Garden – Wild Goose Return

  • Deborah Wise – Wild Goose Chasing

  • Custodianseed – “every day they eat boiled goose”

  • Will Norman – Back from the Wild Goose Fest

  • Martin at Exiles in NY – Greenbelt and the Wild Goose

  • Kerri at Practicing Contemplative – Waterfowl in My Life

  • Allison Leigh Lilley – Chasing the Wild Goose and Catching the Wild Goose: Thanks and First Thoughts and A Pagan Goes To The Wild Goose – Part One

  • Abbie Waters – Jessica: A Fable

  • Steve Knight – Why Wild Goose Festival Was So Magical

  • Tammy Carter – Visual Acuity and Flying

  • Michelle Thorburg Hammond – I heart Jay Bakker and Peter Rollins

  • Matthew Bolz-Weber – Remembering Wild Goose

  • Paul Fromberg – Celebrating Interdependence Day

  • David Zimmerman – Wild Goose Festival: A Recap

  • Unfinished Symphony – Wild Goose Reflections – Part 1, Wild Goose Reflections – Part 2 Making Art Collages, Wild Goose Reflections – Part 3 Photoblogging, and Wild Goose Reflections – Part 4 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

  • Dan Brennan – U2, the Wild Goose, and Deep Freedom

  • Mike Croghan – The Wild Goose is Not Safe

  • John Martinez – The Table

  • Callid Keefe-Perry – Gatekeeping the Goose

  • Eric Elnes – The Inaugural Wild Goose Festival: Recovering Something Lost

  • Shay Kearns – The Power of a T-Shirt, Apologizing to Over the Rhine, and Public vs. Private (Part One)

  • Glen Reteif – Duck Duck Goose

  • Peterson Toscano – I’ve Been Goosed, What I Carried Into Wild Goose, and What I Blurted Out at Wild Goose

  • Seth Donovan – About More than “The Gays”

  • Exiles in New York – Greenbelt and the Wild Goose

  • Tammy Carter – Visual Acuity and Flying

  • TSmith – What I’ll Take From Wild Goose

  • Dale Lature – Wild Goose Reflection

  • Steve Hayes – Wild Goose Chase?

  • Minnow – Grace Response

  • Christine Sine – Encounters With A Thin Space

  • Jeremy Myers – Giving Up the Wild Goose Chase

  • Robert – Thoughts On the Inaugural Wild Goose

  • Anna Woofenden – Slippery Slope Reflections

  • Wendy McCaig – Loosing The Goose

  • Joey Wahoo – Into The Wild

  • Rachel Swan – goosed

  • Patricia Burlison – I Called Life

  • Jason Hess – While At the Goose

  • The Bec Cranford – Wild Goose

  • Anthony Ehrhardt – Chasing The Wild Goose on Independence Day

  • Joel DeVyldere – So Lost at Last-(In the Woods)

  • Maria Kettleson Anderson – Listening To The Wild Goose

  • Jamie Arpin-Ricci – Wild Goose Fest

  • Unfinished Symphony – #5 – The Last Post … for a while

    6.12.2011

    The really important things


    My 9-year-old son Brooks had been bugging me to give him a planner like the one I use. He was delighted yesterday to get a Franklin Planner all his own, and spent a lot of time setting it up his way. I was amused and proud at a lot of what I saw there that I won't display publicly. He wants to be organized and effective!

    But the best part was his "weekly compass", which I use along with my weekly planner and a master task list on toodledo.com and my iPhone. Mine is my way of focusing on what really matters, and doing first things first. And he knows that and checks mine out regularly!

    So the pictures above document his list of roles and "big rocks" as he seeks to be organized and effective this week. "HAVE FUN DURING SUMMER" "EVERY SINGLE DAY OF SUMMER"!

    He lives with me in my
    "big picture"/"little picture"
    over-analysis/intuitive
    tasks/goals
    prayer/obedience
    world . . . and we talk all the time about really important ideas about life and living well.

    And he preached a sermon to me with his hours of delight and preparation of this little planner, and the conclusion/goal on the weekly compass card.  Everything we do is for a reason, and as much as he already knows my Christian-speak about what we are here for and what his purposes should be, he isn't confused at all.

    He needs to do his daily chores (which we do from a list, and which are going very well in both how they are done and the attitude with which they are done) and he wants to plan his life. He likes knowing our travel plans and planning each day. But he isn't going to miss out on being 9 years old this summer. 

    Praise God!

    Brooks climbing through a tunnel he made in the VCS sandbox, with Noah greeting him as he emerges

    5.07.2011

    PresbyMEME: Why I am voting yes on Amendment 10A

    Update 5/19/2011 at 9 p.m.: The vote tonight was 51 votes in favor of Amendment 10A and 131 against 10A; so it lost in Los Ranchos. It was approved by the 87 presbyteries necessary just 2 days after my post; so Los Ranchos didn't affect the fact that it will be the new wording after this year. I was not surprised that it lost in Los Ranchos. I was grateful to see 15 more people vote for 10A than voted for the equivalent measure 2 years ago. God is at work among us!

    Original post:

    In November, a meme was started by Bruce Reyes-Chow for those of us in support of 10A to post on “Why I am voting yes on Amendment 10a”. He added that those of us with no vote in our presbyteries should feel free to post too, with an explanation of our situation. That wasn’t comfortable for me, but in a few weeks Los Ranchos will vote; so here is my post! (I do not have a vote, but I am rooted here and grateful for the ministry of Los Ranchos churches -- especially of St. Andrew's Newport Beach -- in my life these past 15 years!)

    If you are not familiar with PCUSA politics, a good page on this particular issue can be found at the Layman Online's vote chart page, and a very good summary of the arguments against the common fears and objections concerning 10A can be found at the resource link shared at the start of Bruce's meme post. In addition, the posts Bruce lists in response to this meme are rich in resources, and John Shuck has a particularly good selection of informative links in his "Countdown to 87" column down the right-hand side of his blog. (87 is the number of Presbyteries that must vote "yes" on Amendment 10A for it to pass.)

    So now to Bruce's meme:
    1. Answer the following questions in a few sentences, keeping in mind the attention span of most blog readers.
    2. Post somewhere on facebook or your blog with the title "PresbyMEME: Why I am voting yes on Amendment 10a" and be sure there is a link back to this post.
    3. Post a link here or send me a reply via twitter and I'll try to keep a running list here.
    4. Track other responses and pass them along!
    Questions for the PresbyMEME:
    1. Name, City, State
    2. Twitter and Facebook profiles
    3. Presbytery and 10a voting date
    4. Reason ONE that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    5. Reason TWO that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    6. Reason THREE that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    7. What are your greatest hopes for the 10a debate that will take place on the floor of your Presbytery?
    8. How would you respond to those that say that if we pass 10a individuals and congregations will leave the PC(USA)?
    9. What should the Presbyterian Church focus on after Amendment 10a passes?
    10. How does your understanding of Scripture frame your position on 10a?

    And my responses:

    1. I am Maria Kettleson Anderson, Yorba Linda, California

    2. Twitter and Facebook profiles:
    http://twitter.com/mkettleson

    http://www.facebook.com/mkettleson

    3. Presbytery and 10a voting date:
    Los Ranchos, Thursday May 19

    4. Reason ONE that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    The story in Genesis is a beautiful picture of God's original purposes and of what the Triune God wanted us to know through Scripture about our origins. It was so important that we not only be rooted in a larger community but also be allowed to have an awe-filled committed partnership with "bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh" that God revealed that our desire for that pulling away from parents and uniting with a compelling partner was indeed GOOD. As much as it is a reality that passion for ministry can propel us to celibacy, it is a scriptural reality that we are created to be part of a couple created by God. A vote for 10A is an affirmation that Paul said to the Corinthians that celibacy or marriage should be judged in the light of whether they enhanced or distracted from a pursuit of obedience to God, and that marriage was not a failure when resisting passion was a bigger distraction.

    5.Reason TWO that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    Scripture is written in the language and culture of the person who wrote any particular book in the cannon. We understand that if the language says a table is female but a rock is male, that is just a feature of that language, and we do not insist upon making that a central feature of our pursuit together of the Kingdom. In the same way, patriarchal slave-owning culture was a part of the context of scripture that we have no trouble "translating" once we understand that God spoke through and in the midst of a language and culture, but did not condone every aspect of that language or culture. I believe God is in the process of restoring the Church to an understanding of persons, gender, and sexuality that is in line with God's original intent in creation, and that old cultural prejudices blind us to what Scripture as a whole really says. I believe that we fail ministry partners overseas who still live in patriarchal slave-owning cultures when we base our teaching on understandings of Scripture derived from their cultures rather than leading them in Godly understandings of Scripture.

    6.Reason THREE that you are voting "yes" on 10a is...
    Radical obedience to the Gospel of Jesus Christ calls us to speak what we know to be true, even when it may cost us "ministry" or "family" or even "righteousness" in terms of how we are seen. In Los Ranchos, taking a public stand to actually vote yes on Amendment 10A is an act of courage that is unimaginable to those who have built a life, community and career centered on all that is good and supportive and productive in the conservative community that is the best of Los Ranchos pastors and elders. This is so overwhelming that it is hard to even allow oneself to honestly consider that perhaps the conservative community could be wrong on this one, let alone to be willing to lose all that a pastor or elder would lose by breaking faith with friends on this.

    Nevertheless, this is where Jesus' words about laying one's life down for a friend ring the most true, because the "ministry suicide" of taking a stand that "isn't your fight" will not only align you on the side of what is right and true, but also prepare a path for your friends to move forward in the things you know they sincerely embrace: obedience to God, a correct interpretation of Scripture, and a community that is united in being used by God to bless and transform the surrounding culture.


    7.What are your greatest hopes for the 10a debate that will take place on the floor of your Presbytery?
    My greatest hopes for the 19th of May are that each voter will have had the courage to honestly consider that 10A might be "of God" rather than "of the devil", and that those who have considered the arguments in favor of 10A and understand God to be calling them to vote affirmatively will have the courage to do that, even if it costs them dearly.

    8.How would you respond to those that say that if we pass 10a individuals and congregations will leave the PC(USA)?
    I would point out to them that their own ministries have never been focused on including all possible members at the cost of TRUTH, but that they have been willing to preach the Gospel faithfully even when that cost them members. In the same way, their focus here must be on what is true and right, and they must trust that the cost of obedience is never enough to justify disobedience.

    9.What should the Presbyterian Church focus on after Amendment 10a passes?
    The PCUSA should continue to focus on actively engaging Scripture and our culture: to be able to truly hear God's voice through God's word, and in obedience live transformed lives in community and be an agent of transformation in our world.

    10.How does your understanding of Scripture frame your position on 10a?
    It was in preparing each week to teach Bethel at St. Andrew's that I came to the place where I could not conform any longer to old positions on this issue. The whole of scripture is so clear about God's process of redemption and about God's goals for each of us and for all of us! It is our confessional understanding of Scripture that leads me here.

    2.26.2011

    A New Local Church?

    Part of the reason I don't write a whole lot these days is that my life is so rich with thinkers and writers and speakers who can say what I think so much better than I can. They don't always form my beliefs, but they almost always articulate them SO well. And I have things I must do that no one can do better than me: love my kids into healthy adulthood, serve as the mom I am to my adult sons, and experience my own string of moments of this life given by God to me.

    I never wrote on here of my process in leaving St. Andrew's briefly for St. Mark, or of why I returned, or of how I have been growing and changing in the year since I returned. My daily faith experience is strong, and I like my life, and some transitions must just happen as they happen. There is no way to "take control of the process" to make it better, but instead we must learn to relax into the process and let go of control.

    I love contemporary Christian worship music, and I love many of my friends and many of the leaders at St. Andrews. I'm sure God is working in them and through them, just as God is working in me and through me. I want to affirm my respect and loyalty to them. They formed my community and beliefs for the years from 1996 to 2008 or 2009. And there I got the opportunity for 4 years to as a layperson teach the Bible to adults, to participate in the Adult Education ministry team, to participate in the formation and execution of a mentoring ministry, and to be on the first year of a Relational Discipleship ministry team. I loved all that, and it was formative!

    Those of you who are family or who know me from Wheaton College years or earlier know how I have really always wanted to serve God in ministry. Back then I thought that had to be out of an appropriate place for my gender, which I saw as in submission to the male gender properly. But I love God with more passion than I love my kids even, and love the evangelical vision of centering our whole lives around ministry, even if we are called to be bivocational. At St. Andrew's I enjoyed many opportunities to aim for this lifestyle, and at Wheaton I was preparing for that kind of life.

    That commitment has not changed for me at this point, but my journey has me at a point of exploring new places for community. I'm grateful for on-line community and for conferences, but they do not offer the service/ministry opportunities I need. And as much as I love to write, communicating ideals or goals is not equivalent to living them. So I am in search of a local church community that will ideally:
    1. not make me suffer through traditional music for hours
    2. not be 70% people who are 2 or more decades older than me (47)
    3. not be intellectually impoverished
    4. not be socially exclusive and unwelcoming to newcomers
    5. not make my children suffer through boring or unnecessary programs
    6. not make my children feel like they are disliked
    7. not make me feel disliked

    and

    1. WILL be friendly to newcomers and to my children
    2. WILL have a Pastor who doesn't water things down to the lowest common denominator and who has evidence of a brain that gets used regularly
    3. WILL affirm my use of social media and blogging
    4. WILL affirm my own right to exercise my brain
    5. WILL evidence a genuine passion for each life to be centered around a living faith of their own that gets exercised in many daily ways, both individually and in community

    I am sure there are many who feel their church fits the above, and perhaps for them it does. For it to fit for us, it must feel that way to us. Yes, that is subjective, not objective. And it should be.

    Why would I consider leaving St. Andrews? Well, some of that is like it is when a marriage ends . . . best kept relatively private. But some of it is very public, and can be boiled down to this: read my posts over the years I have blogged.

    Having said all that, I acknowledge the possibility that I will do my search again and end up back at St. Andrew's as the best place for me within driving distance. But it is time to look again and see if that is the case.

    (To my readers who would suggest many local evangelical churches not far from our home in Yorba Linda: I already know that my search is limited to pcusa churches. I had 8 years (18 to 26) of exploring other denominations, and ended up at First Presbyterian/Glen Ellyn Illinois with great relief. I was born and baptised a United Presbyterian and there for the merger that formed pcusa, and know the worship style, polity, and beliefs of all major denominations. I am not only a Christian, I am a Presbyterian of the PCUSA variety, by choice. And I am near 3 Presbyteries with hundreds of local congregations; so "limiting" myself to that denomination is rather like limiting my food choices to ones that contain ingredients I'm familiar with. See earlier posts to understand my commitment to connectional presbyterian polity with high value placed on educated leaders and consensus over time.)

    Meanwhile, we need some stability; so I will still show up at St. Andrew's worship with some regularity until we find someplace that might last as our church community for decades and is worth becoming the new place of stability and community. And First Presbyterian of Second Life still provides huge stability and comfort for me personally.

    I welcome your prayers, and suggestions too! And if any of you want to visit a particular PCUSA church WITH us or invite us to a particular service at your own PCUSA church and serve as our hosts for that day, I would be most grateful! I am shy and hate being the stranger in the midst of friends.

    Thanks to those of you who read my blog and comment to me about it. You shape me and my experience of community more than almost any other "tribe" in my life. Thanks also for the ways you share your experience of faith and life and community with me! What a gift!

    1.17.2011

    "Equality" and "Identity" on MLK Day 2011

    I am grateful today for all we are celebrating as we celebrate Martin Luther King Day. My world is a richer place because a single person was willing to stand up for what he knew to be true and right, even though it cost him so much in his life and brought about his death. He changed our view of each other and of the world, permanently I hope.

    I was thinking yesterday about how much religion and culture and worldview are just an extension of language. They are a shared representation of a reality that we can communicate about only because we have not only the words but the bigger concepts behind them as a construct of a shared understanding. And so often we are very unable to communicate because of the deep divide in our cultural or religious understanding of God's world, and so we lose much.

    I listened to a friend talk about his view of marriage and scripture and marital ethics, and realized just how deeply patriarchal culture is still rooted in my real world, despite the friends around me who embrace gender equality. This friend who was sharing with me would certainly say he supports gender equality, and that he has been an active mentor and advocate for real women in real roles in ministry and community. Yet he still views the patriarchal worldview that is the "language" of our scriptures as an optional way of seeing the world, and does not judge it as evil but only as typical of another time. He is careful to not alienate those who see complementarian gender roles as scriptural, and reveals in many ways that he is at ease with white male power as long as he is the beneficiary and not the oppressor.

    I see some of the conservative approach to Christian scripture as short-sighted and responsible for not only an inability to communicate but also for an inability to be real disciples, here and now. I do see scripture as the source of my worldview and daily practices, and the means to know God and the way God has revealed the Godhead to the world, but I also do not try to live a life where I primarily speak Hebrew or Greek or Aramaic instead of English, but use what we know of those languages to be able to understand scripture in my own English thoughts. In the same way, I learn all I can of the history and culture and worldview into which Scripture was written, and I use what I know to translate it to the world in which I live now.

    I value the way we are all different, and do not think "equal" translates to "identical", but I do think it must translate to equal access to being heard, equal access to life paths, equal access to what we call "civil rights", and equal freedom to own and use capital and to exercise control over ones' economic path. We are still decades away from that being a full reality.

    Women and men are not identical. If they were, there would be no great issue in making "gender equality" more of a reality. The challenge is to understand what is real and valuable in generalized understandings of gender and to understand what is much more culturally influenced, and to create a society that honors gender while still honoring freedom and equal access to life choices and capital and education and opportunity for genuine leadership in every arena.

    I think the same is true of ethnic identities: we do not have to obliterate our different values and historical or cultural orientations in order to create a society that honors the ways that we are unique and the unique voice we can bring to our world while at the same time creating deliberate ways that society will be held accountable to provide equal opportunities and freedoms and resources to those that come from or embrace different identities.

    A starting point for those of us that still claim a high regard for Scripture and Judeo-Christian tradition is a firm understanding of history and the cultural realities that were the behind the language of Scripture. For instance, I have heard it said that women were excluded from Jesus' words about divorce in the Sermon on the Mount because they were not the ones being addressed or because they were not at that time able as they are now to exercise the ability to divorce a spouse, but that with the change in culture today we should hear the words as applying to both genders equally. This misses the reality in the culture of Jesus' day and earlier Jewish culture that the women not only could not divorce but that they would not, because to do so would have required them to leave their children with their ex-husband, who in practical fact was the owner of his wife and children, and would have thrown them into a life with few economic options for survival or happy remarriage.

    It is a better translation of Jesus' words from that culture and language to this one to understand that Jesus was protecting not only "the institute of marriage" but even more so the emotional, social, and spiritual well-being of women and children in a patriarchal culture in which they were mistreated just by the fact of being in that culture, even under the "headship" of the most godly and kindly of men (let alone under the typical socially-accepted "headship".)

    A godly culture today will not preserve slavery or an old view of "covenant marriage" with words of ignorant complicity in a continuation of a cultural reality that Jesus was challenging (women forced into dependent relationships by the culture and men forced into the position of "owner" by the culture.) A godly culture today will honor the reality of the emotional entanglements of marriage and child-bearing even in the most gender-equal world and will seek to encourage practices of marriage and commitment that protect all impacted by those commitments. Agape/Hesed translates very easily to people who keep their commitments, are honest, seek to protect the helpless and dependent, and to provide increasing competence and independence or inter-dependence of all.

    A godly culture today will not allow the culture formed by years of misinterpretation of scripture to serve as an idol that we encourage others to worship, most especially at the expense of real obedience to the real risen Jesus.

    As an Evangelical committed to the authority of scripture and of shared community, today on MLK day I call on us all again to real Biblical literacy, that drinks deeply of all that our scholarship tells us about the world and languages in which the books of our cannon of scripture were written, and that thinks and prays deeply - together in community - about the ways that scripture translate to the values we are exhorted to have and the virtues we are exhorted to practice.

    I call most especially for 4 values and their corresponding practices:

    1) value the life-giving power of church-affirmed sexual union enough to affirm how destructive it is to not provide every social and legal help to a continuation of "marriage" when two people have shown themselves to be committed to a life-long relationship: to protect and help those individuals, their children, and the others the dissolution of their relationship would impact

    2) value the reality of gender identity and the differences between our practice and perception of male and female and other: to provide for opportunity and choices and resources that allow the practice of traditional roles as well as the practice of new ways of expressing the fullness of all God created in each one of us as unique individuals and not keeping anyone imprisoned in an other's view of their gender

    3) value the reality of TRUTH and lies and distortions enough to teach plainly all we know about our world and our selves and our scriptures and our God, and all we know to be falsehood: to provide true freedom of speech while also responding to hateful or false speech with censure when we know it to be lies or violent

    And lastly, 4) value the clear and unequivocal call of Jesus to love each other and those who are our enemies and those who are strangers more than we value our own perception of our own best interest: to support and protect those who are immigrants (illegal or not) and those who are needy (dead-beats or not) and those who are different (mentally ill or not) even though it costs us "the American Dream" individually as we all invest in a future of opportunity and equality for all our children and grandchildren.

    I am not calling for a departure from "good Christian ethics and values", but rather for an embracing of them like we have never seen before. Let us be people who honor the Other above ourselves, and feed the poor, and visit those in prison, and have real humility and mercy. Let us be people who know Scripture increasingly well, as we actually live it out and actually teach the reality behind it and know the REALITY behind it.

    May I increasingly learn how to do this in my own life, and have at least a tiny impact on those around me that furthers the purpose and life whose huge impact we honor this day.

    12.17.2010

    The Goal

    One of our amazing abilities as human beings is to focus our energy and attention on that part of life that we each currently feel to be deserving of our attention and focus, and to put on blinders to the parts we feel need to be ignored in order to give proper attention and focus and energy to the place we feel we must focus. This serves us well each day, because life is too big to even be fully observed daily, let alone processed and addressed. However, this leaves us very vulnerable to ignoring something crucial and pursuing something secondary. Above all else, it is this dilemma that our faith seeks to address.

    I have grown up watching successful people define reality and faith and pursue with diligence the tasks and focus they needed to pursue to be good people, as they and those around them defined good. Evil was, practically speaking, anything which redefined reality or faith in a way that made their pursuits seem less logical or made them question everything they valued. And those who pursued other values or made it harder for them to pursue their own values and goals were "on the other side" and thought of either as those mistaken who needed to be educated or saved or as those deliberately choosing evil who needed to be punished and excluded.

    It is interesting to consider how Jesus appeared to the "good" people of His day. There were people of faith and practice who had devoted their lives to following all God had revealed to the Jews, and who were eagerly awaiting the Messiah who would make the "not yet" part of their reward become "here and now". Some of them believed that to be fully possible without apocalypse, and some did not, but all were awaiting the Kingdom of Heaven, the Kingdom of God. And then Jesus showed up and turned their ideas of good and bad, their ideas of valuable and to be rejected, their ideas of THE GOAL upside down. And so it was the good people who took the lead in killing Him, the ones who had had a vision of "HOLY" and He was not it; it was not the "lost" masses who found Him offensive.

    The ideas and values and goals of Evangelical Christianity are not far from the words of Jesus, but our exclusion of those who show up in our churches but don't fit our culture makes any grasp we have of TRUTH just as useless as the Pharisees' grasp of truth was to them. Jesus let people walk away from Him rather than follow His hard way, but His hard way was all about inclusion of any who would follow and lovingkindness to all they encountered along the way. We are proud of our grasp of TRUTH and a better way to live, and find it easy to just erase from our minds all those who object and leave for any reason. If we listen to them, it is as a technique to change them, not in order that our ideas and perceptions might be changed.

    We assuage our discomfort with the masses who won't or can't fit our idea of reality by ministering to them in many ways, thinking we are obeying Christ's command to love. And certainly it IS obedience to offer food and childcare and clothes and other resources to those who need those resources. And we get many converts that way, because there are many who will willingly become part of our communities if they get that hand up. They fit well, if they will only be given the resources to become like us. But then there are many that we find we must write off, because they cannot or will not become like us, with our values and goals and lifestyles, no matter how much we help them, and no matter how much we then motivate them by withholding help until they are motivated to conform.

    Our most revered leaders are those who do the best job helping us interpret and come to peace with all the places our ideology and culture just doesn't quite ring true, and help us silence that dissonance with new ways to "be in service" and new ways to shut it all out through "spiritual disciplines" and new ways to conform our own minds and lives and emotions to the culture they have been formed by. We pay them well and we give them power and reverence, and so we have spawned a whole class of seminary-trained would-be leaders who would like to get in on that action, and pursue it either by simple imitation of the vision and passion and leadership style or by a call to change (like mine) but internally motivated by a desire to play that role and have that career that those they would replace have had and played.

    We have lost the abiltiy to revere each life, regardless of roll or beauty. Our leaders speak much that is true and call for much that is right, but they do it for the money to live and the role they trained to fill. Scripture calls for something different than their call.

    The goal of each person is to be whole-hearted service of the rest. That is the great commission, if you take the command of the Risen Jesus to go and make disciples of every nation and to teach them to live as He taught His disciples, and you then look back at the way He taught His disciples to live. Corporate Christianity, with its buildings and salaries and budgets and structure, can have a role in that, but it will never be the central role that our passionate young seminarians were led to believe. They were betrayed by being allowed to believe that the best way they could serve the Kingdom was to go into full-time Christian service, and the rest of us were betrayed by thinking that we could settle for less than whole-life commitment to God and each other if we were not called into "full-time Christian service".

    The goal of the Kingdom is the presence of the Triune God again among man, in a world reconciled to God and to one's own self and to each other and to this world in which we live. This is best served by lives lived as members of the economy, producing approximately what we each consume, and learning to live with each other even when we disagree. Those who are paid to comment upon that and to lead us in that, but that have no real experience in that daily routine and tedium (or who failed at that daily routine and tedium and so opted out into "ministry") may have power and a great ability to create and wear their blinders to the rest of reality, but they will not be able to "save" more than a very small part of their potential "followers".

    The true disciples were and are bi-vocational. They were and are fishermen and tentmakers, merchants and tax-collectors, lawyers and writers and doctors. They centered their lives around following Jesus, but not as a way to earn a living! The church will certainly need to support some who are found to be most useful as leaders and teachers and administrators, and our educational systems have value . . . but our educational systems and institutional churches and service organizations and media and other ministries should not be sustained as industries in themselves when they have lost grass-roots support and usefulness and have become leeches on the living CHURCH which is the people who are really followers of Jesus.

    God's goal for you is for you to find a way to live that supports your own needs financially through a genuine contribution to the needs of all, and that allows you to enjoy the moment and learn to hear and befriend the people around you, and be changed by that reality as you process it with times of solitude and with a life of study of scripture and truth from other sources.

    God's goal for the Church is that it foster the ability of each individual to do just that, but as an authentic communion of individuals after that life, not as an idustry trying to create converts and services to justify its existence.

    I don't have a single or a couple of "proof-texts" for this essay, mainly because I believe all of scripture combines to say exactly what I have said here. If you want to do your own study to confirm or deny that, I suggest you start with the Gospel of Matthew, then Luke, then Acts, then Romans, then Galatians, then James, then Colossians, and eventually cover the whole of scripture.

    I will leave you with two passages to consider here though:

    Colossians 3 (The Message)

    "1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
    3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

    5-8 And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.

    9-11 Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.

    12-14 So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

    15-17 Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

    18 Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.

    19 Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don't take advantage of them.

    20 Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.

    21 Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.

    22-25 Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work."


    Romans 12 (The Message)

    "1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
    3 I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

    4-6 In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

    6-8 If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

    9-10 Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

    11-13 Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

    14-16 Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

    17-19 Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

    20-21 Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good."